Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Rough Hands

Tonight I picked up my boys from my Dads house.  He picks them up from school for me a couple of times a week.  When I got to his house though he had an odd question.

He asked me to hold out my hands so he could see them.

I held out my hands so he could inspect the back of my hands.
He nodded and asked me to flip over my hands.

For those of you who have never met my Father he is a Retired Investigator.  Not a street cop but has way more information than they layman.  Therefore when he asks to look at your hands, you get a little on edge.  I held out my hands, just slightly nervous wondering where this was going.

He nodded again.

Me: "What's up?"
My Dad: "When I picked up your kids from school today I offered to take them to the store so they could buy their Mother a Birthday gift and card.  Bubbly B however told me that you don't like cards because your hands don't like to open all those cards.  So I wanted to make sure everything was okay with your hands.  I'd never heard of anything like this before."

Me: (laughing) "Remember Dad whatever comes out of Bubbly B's mouth if a 50/50 chance it's made up."

Although the percentage lies somewhere more like this:

2% Fact
98% Embellished fact from the morsel of information he picked up.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Heartbroken and the Big "P" word

Say the word “Puberty” among other parents and the reaction you get are like roaches scattering in the light.  Ears covered, running the other direction and yelling, “Can’t hear you.”

I get it, the subject does not conjure up great images.  In fact many of us would probably rather skip our kids going through it for many reasons.  I did some research though and there is no easy way to tell you this.  But….you can’t skip it.

And I’m knee deep in it in my house.

And I’m heart broken.

My 10 year old (who will be mortified that I am even telling you this) is in the throes of puberty.  It started with pimples on his face, and my heart broke for him.  A few other changes came next but I’ll skip those details.  This past December he went to see the pediatrician and she noted his voice changing.

I looked at her confused, because clearly he was suffering from allergies.  Or a cold. You'd think a doctor could recognize this.  His voice couldn't possibly be changing already.

She was right however.

He sat in the car and told me he just wanted to be a kid and didn't want to go through all this.

My heart broke more.  Now a few months later and either this is the longest running head congestion (which I’m still secretly holding onto) or his voice really is changing.

Suddenly the part that hurts the most is that I can’t remember what his voice sounded like before.  I wish I had videoed more.  I take pictures CONSTANTLY but now I wish I had hit video instead.

So go videotape your kids tonight.  Record their voice, their words and their thoughts while you can. Soon enough it all begins to change and it becomes too late to go back.  

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Best Sandwich Ever!!

Bubbly B: I had the best sandwich ever today.  Grandpa made it.

Me: What kind?

Bubbly B: It had beef on it.  Mustard.  He went to a lot of trouble too.  He put mustard on both sides and beef on both sides.  And I don’t know what kind of bun it was.  But it was the best because the bun wasn't like a McDonald's bun, this one had sesame seeds on it. Real sesame seeds.
It was so good!

So Congratulations Grandpa you win the Best Sandwich Ever award from Bubbly B!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Begin Again.

Hello my name is Mommy Wishdom and I have not written a blog post a long time.

I have let life, kids, work and relationships get in the way of writing, and I miss it.  I love when someone tells me that my blog made them laugh.  I love it.  As in a deep belly roll kinda love.  So I should be writing more.  So I thought I'd reintroduce myself and begin again. Again.

My life revolves around my two boys who are currently 7 and 10. I know about Lego's, football teams, how to wash a jockstrap and all things Minecraft.  There has never been a Barbie in my house.  Well except for those still in a box from 30 something years ago, but I am pretty sure those don't count.  Our days are busy and often our dinners are eaten in the backseat of the car on our way to the next sporting event. 

 It might be easier to tell you who I am not.  I am not Donna Reed.  I am not that Mother who has the perfect speech prepared at every life moment.  I don't wear pearls but polka dots are pretty close.  I have been known to yell, although I am working on this.  Our dinners are sometimes corn dogs and never tofu.  I do not have laminated chore charts my kids can apply stickers too and earn their allowance.  The tooth fairy has been known to regift the money she left previously when a tooth shows up missing unexpectedly.  I forget to send my kids in pajama's on pajama day and once my kids hair went uncombed on Kindergarten graduation picture day. 

This is my life.  Its wild.  Funny and comes with a healthy dose of sarcasm.  That's us.....just wishing for a little Mommy Wisdom.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Writing on the Wall UPDATE

I've been waiting to update the previous blog post about mornings in our house.  Throw in the holidays and the kids were off school for 9, 327 days.  Okay, not really but it sure felt like it.  So it took a few weeks to get back in the routine of things.  Enter this morning.....

7:12 am this morning

Me: Don't do it.  Don't do it!  How will they learn if you keep coming along and reminding them what needs to be done.  Focus on something else!  You can do this!

I could hear the boys screwing around in the living room throwing jeans at each other.  I turned the music up and tried to distract myself.

Five minutes before it was time to leave ...

Me: Five Minute Warning.  If you need help with your hair I'm ready to help now.

The boys staggered in.  Afterwards I grabbed my coffee, purse and announced it was time to leave.  I was already mentally preparing the "i told you so" speech in my head.

As the boys walked out the door I did a quick check.
Backpacks - check
Lunchboxes - check
Shoes - check
water bottles - check

But then I noticed....Bubbly B was without a jacket.

Me: B where is your jacket?  See what happens when you screw off all morning, it's very chilly for a short sleeve shirt this morning.  Good luck with that.

B: It's okay. I never wear my jacket at school anyway.


Monday, December 15, 2014

When You Ignore The Writing On The Wall

My car this morning on the way to school:

Me: I don't understand.  Are the things I ask you to do in the morning too hard for you?
Boys: No
Me: Are you able to brush your teeth? Are you able to comb your hair? Are you able to get dressed?
Boys: (muttering) Yes
Me: (On a roll now!) Then why when I ask you to do all three is nothing accomplished?  Boys what am I supposed to do? (Shit that sounded like my Dad!) Am I supposed to let you go to school without shoes on? Without a jacket? With stinky breath? We start our days with me yelling at you to get out the door.  I don't like it and I'm sure you don't like it! 
Boys: (muttering) No
Me: Then how do we stop this? 
(When you stop coddling them and not let them fail and go to school without a coat.  Me: Really, that's the answer?   Me:Yes, it always has been. And before you say it yes they might get sick but they might get sick anyways and either are an inconvenience so quit using that as an excuse.  Me: An excuse, oh really....! Me: So just let them do what they want and walk out the door tomorrow.....just go...out the door....with whatever they are missing? Is that a hive, look I'm already getting hives and I'll be even more stressed tomorrow watching them go to school without a coat or bad breath or homework. This is the solution?!)
Boys: I don't know.
Me: Well it seems like the only solution here (Because the other idea, clearly NOT the answer) is to move your wake up time earlier.

(insert impending doom music)

I sense a bigger lesson coming.....soon.  

Monday, November 3, 2014

Lost....Found....Lost.....Solved. Sort of.

Reason Number 1,763 Why I Will Never Win Mother of the Year Award.
...and I'm okay with that.

Every school year I buy and insane amount of school supplies.  And glue sticks.  Lunch boxes and water bottles and at least two pairs of tennis shoes a year.  The one that irks me the most are the water bottles.  Every child is told to have one and in AZ when my kids are in school on 110 degree days (I sense another rant bubbling up....!) fine, here is a water bottle to go to school.  We even hunt for the best and I walk away spending more on a water bottle than some countries spend on water. kids walk into school each day with a water bottle and ice every morning. 

That was the first week of school.

Monday, week two....the first water bottle was lost.  And then found. 

Wednesday, week three, a lunchbox was lost.  And then found.

Tuesday, week four the second child lost his water bottle.  Wednesday, the other child lost his water bottle. 

It's maddening! 

Driving home from work, stewing in my frustrations and how to overcome hit me.  Thankfully it was an idea and not a car considering how lost in thought I was.  Yikes!  I drove to Walmart, got what I needed and picked up my kids from school.

When we got home I explained how frustrated I was over lost...found...lost water bottles.  I explained the cost of each water bottle I purchased and how expensive it would be if we had to keep buying new ones.  Not going to happen!!  Then I pulled out the Walmart bag and showed my two boys my purchases.

"As you boys always hear me say, every choice has a consequence.  Every time you do not pay attention and lose your water bottle there is a consequence.  No water the next day or Mom has to buy a new one eventually and these are not good consequences.  Here is the new consequence when you lose your water bottle or lunch box.  The next day you will carry this to school."

Meet Hello Kitty Water Bottle and the girliest lunch box I could find!
My boys were appalled and its likely they mentally added this to their "Reasons to See A Therapist" list.  But the look of horror on their faces was exactly what I was looking for.

I know some of you are muttering something about sexism and blah blah blah.  This is a consequence.  If you love your Star Wars lunch box and you lose it and you have to carry your sister old Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox - that is a consequence.Same thing.

It was not even a three days later that my oldest lost his water bottle.  The horror!!  I made him carry it.  I suspect it sat at the bottle of his backpack and never saw the inside of a fifth grade classroom, but that's okay.

Since then my oldest has not left his water bottle at school.  In fact he boasts proudly when he gets home, "Here is my water bottle."  Success?  I think so!!

Side note.  Anyone who has had at least two kids in their house for than a week has realised what works for one child, doesn't always work for the other.  My 6 year old cried the first day he carried it muttering something about it being "too embarrassing!"  Today was the eighth day in a row he's been carrying it.  And drinking from it.  Back to the drawing board......