Sunday, March 30, 2014

Pets 101 - FAILED!

There was a time I worried about getting a pet because maybe my kids were too young to deal with death.  It's inevitable, sure, but I didn't need to bring it into their home.  As with most parental concerns they decrease in importance and you welcome a pet to your home.

If you've been around these woods for awhile you know not only did I bring death right to my children's home but we reinforced the idea over and over and over.  Parenting at it's finest.  I'll never look at a fish the same way again.

A few weeks back B collected Ladybugs.  We were at little league practice and he asked me to help him find them.  I had plans to write and watch practice but I set it all aside and told him I'd help.  For twenty minutes we crouched in the grass and searched for Ladybugs.  We screeched when we found them and they eluded us.  We laughed.  It was awesome! 

We moved them into a bug mansion and researched how to take care of them.  Their home sat on our dinning room table and they were the topic of daily discussions.  My boys were thrilled. 

Fast forward two weeks. 

On Thursday I sat at the table drinking coffee and out of the corner of my eye I could see them moving around. Like bugs do.  It was horrific.  Then again Thursday night they just kept moving and walking like tiny little roaches moving, constantly.  B wanted no part of feeding the raisins to them and N was as creeped out as I was about the creatures moving about. 

So I made a choice.

This morning I opened their cage and put it outside near a bush and told them to go and be free little Ladybugs.  Tonight when the boys come home I will tell them they died.

What?  It's what they are used to. 

Parenting Chapters I forgot to read - Pets!!   

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Held In Captivity

B: "Mama we had our hostage for 6 days!"
"Your hostage....who?"
B: "The ladybug Spike."
Last week at baseball practice B found a ladybug.  He promptly dumped out the water from my water bottle in order to persuade it into captivity.  For six days now we've had Spike and shockingly he has lived.  If you are unfamiliar with our pet history lets just say Petsmart has a wall with pictures of people they refuse to sell fish too and we're on the top of that wall. The very top!  It was bad for a few years.

Spike has somehow renewed our pet mojo though. His home has even been upgraded from a small water bottle to lush and spacious pet mansion.  Complete with watchful cat.

"Maybe tomorrow when we go back to baseball practice we can look for another ladybug for Spike."
B: "Yeah, we need an orange one.  The males are red and Spike is red so we need a orange one so they can mate.  I'd really like to find out if ladybugs can hop and if they can mate upside down because I've only ever seen one mate on the ground."

I have no idea where he gets this from.  I fear he makes most of it up but that fandangle internet thing is highly suspect.  Anyways we're happily breeding ladybugs enjoying our pet mojo.....for as long as it will last.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Questions By A 6 Year Old....

B: Mama?
Me: Yeah B?
B: Why do you wear Boob Protectors?
Me:.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................(Thankfully so much time had passed at this point he forgot the question and moved on. Thankfully!!)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Valentine's Day Torture

I ADORE Valentine's Day.  I love the hearts and flowers and since I'm a hopeless romantic it's my favorite holiday.  My house is covered in hearts right now and there is nothing better than walking through the grocery stores filled with pink and red hearts.  Love it!! Since I love it, it means I get to make my boys love it too.  The joys of parenthood.

In Kindergarten this year Bubbly B's class is taking a different approach to the usual kids Valentine's Day cards.  Be still my heart, B's teacher sent home an email explaining that this year each child would write one or two sentences to each child saying something they like about that kid in their class.  I literally swooned.
The best part of V-day is expressing how you feel.  It's the day you are absolutely allowed to be honest and open....and I'm losing readers I can feel it.  (cough)  Okay, stay with me.

So Kindergarten, letters to each other. I was wickedly excited to start this project.  Then I sat down with B and began the most painstaking project I've encountered to date.  Each card starts with Dear....., I like you.......  Love, Ben.  It takes three turns around in his chair, a glass of water, a snack, a trip to bathroom, telling me something that happened at school, something he about Minecraft, three random questions and a rub of the cat; and that was only after he wrote Dear.   Sweet Jesus, we should have started this project in October.  I'm not even sure that would have helped.  Each letter requires a complete review of that student's behavior to date.  Lets just some students have had a rough year.  I can only imagine what they have to say about B.

We have four more to write.  Four.  Letters.  Four!!  If y'all don't hear from me by Monday....send for help.  It's likely I tried to stab myself with all the hearts I have hung up.

Here are a few favorites.  Don't tell him I showed you these.  (I can't wait to see what the other kids write about him)

"Dear Kindle, I like when we make funny faces"

"Dear Kennedy, I like your boots"

"Dear Delaney, I like you because you are sweet. I like when we play together." 

"Dear Myleigh, I love you because your sweet."

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Gifted Life

Life with a gifted kid is not what some would imagine.  I never really gave it much thought but if I had I would have imagined sitting around the kitchen table having lengthy discussion about things he was learning at school.  Watching his face light up as he talked about school projects and books that he is reading.  Watching his mind feast on the information and the world around him.  Instead this is what happens at my house.....

Me: You lost your lunch box?  That's the third one this month?
Me: You left your water bottle at school again this week?
Me: You lost your jacket.......again?
Me: What do you mean you forgot to bring your homework home again?

Every. Single. Week.

Tonight he brought home the poem he wrote in class.  In the fourth grade gifted class....

"Gross Things"
I just heard a sneeze
That dudes butt just made a breeze
On the floor is someone hurling
The chips in that guys mouth are crunchy.

(Thank God he's not considering a future in poem writing.)

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Mother Of All Bad Words

B: Mama do you know the mother of all bad words?
(this is a trick...right?)
Me: Yes.  Do you?
B: I do now.  I'll never say it.  But I know it.
Me: Where did you learn this word?
B: I can't tell you. 

He's grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.  Could he really know the mother of all bad words.  In my head I'm thinking it's the F-bomb.  That word flying from my kids mouth would be awful but I'm curious to see if he knows it. 

Me:  I'm giving you this one pass.  You whisper it in my ear and I won't get mad.  But you can never say it again.  Okay?
B: Okay!  (grinning bigger)
Me: (inwardly groan) Okay...lets hear it.

He cups his hand around my ear and gets as close as he can to my ear and says, "What the fudge"


I'm safe....for now.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Side Stitches in Soccer

I signed B up for Soccer.  Feeling my monumental "Mom of success" moment for having him registered and ready to go was quickly shattered when I found out I was a month late to get him registered and he missed the first two practices. So he would be showing up to meet his team and coach at his first game.  Oh yeah....Mom moment crushed.  I was thankful though, it was my second born who has learned to fly by the seat of his pants.  (Note my first born was a nervous wreck for B all week)

The first game was comedy in action.  I wished I could have videotaped it all for you to watch.  At one point two girls were standing in the middle of the field playing with each others hair and talking.  Our goalie was stuck in his net goalie shirt.  It was the greatest way to spend an early Saturday morning.  Ever.

Tonight B had his first Soccer practice.  It was an exercise in herding cats.  His coach is awesome and I simply adore him.  He has his work cutout for him though. 

During one minute this was all happening on the field.

"Who has the ball?
"I gotta pee."
"Daddy I need a Kleenex."
"I have grass on my lip. Eww"
"Im the goalie"
"Where do I stand?"
"Is he on my team?"
"He pushed me."
"I still have grass on my lip.  Get it offffff."

Seriously.  That was all in one minute. 

Soccer is going to be great.