Monday, May 12, 2014

Full Time Jobs Anyone....Anyone?

It's that time of the year.  Each kid comes homes with colorful pieces of paper, my in box is filled with emails and my mailbox is stuffed with colorful catalogs of classes available this summer to keep my kids busy, challenged, engaged, entertained.....

Field trips to the Science Museum, Movie theaters, pizza restaurants, Lego building classes, Engineering classes, Guitar lessons, Classes to teach writing/drawling/computers/chess/gambling - okay maybe not gambling just making sure you are still with me, however every sport you can imagine has classes available.

Sounds great...right?

You know when these classes are?

Monday through Friday 8am - 12pm.  That's Noon, as in, in the middle of the day!!

If these don't work around your schedule....you know because I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND CAN NOT LEAVE MY JOB TO PICK KIDS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, you can always put your child(ren) in Summer Camp.

It's available for you....and your kids....from 8:00 - 2:30!!  Oh and they charge more than I make from 8:00-2:30 by the way.

My job doesn't end at 2:30, neither does most of the Full Time Working People in this world. It seems if the cities and school districts wanted to make some decent money they would cater more to the people who have full time jobs....and a paycheck...!

just saying


PS I'd say this Mom was a picture of me, but I can't for the life of me figure out what is in her hand. 



Sunday, April 27, 2014

Conversation w/a 6 year old

When my youngest opens his mouth, those of us who know him, prepare.  When he begins to talk it’s a crap shoot of many ideas.  It may be shocking, funny or tall tales.  I've learned I am never prepared for what is about to follow.  If you don't believe me, just read back about a year ago when he informed his preschool....yes PRESCHOOL friends....that "Pwesident Obama is making wule that boys havta marry boys and girls hafta marry girls."  

Today wasn't any different. 

My boys woke me at 6 am which is my house is ungodly for a weekend.  Work and school necessary – yes but not on a weekend.  So by 10 am we had gone to breakfast, got the car washed, replaced all the winter clothes with summer clothes and done three loads of laundry.  I was in need of a nap…or caffeine.  So I decided to lay down on my bed while Bubbly B watched Bill Nye the Science Guy videos on the computer.
An hour or so later we went over to my cousins house.  Visiting her from out of state was a cousin who is expecting a baby in June.  This is how the conversation went.

Megan (BB 5 yr old cousin): See Paola’s belly, she has a baby in there.
Bubbly B: Are you having a boy or a girl?
Paola: I don’t know.
BB: Oh it’s easy.  I  know how. 
Paola: Yeah?  How?
BB:  There is an X and X and they come from the mother, and the Dad has an X and Y.  So if the Dad gives the Mom an Y it’s a boy and if he gives her an X it’s a girl.
Megan:  (stares blankly at BB)
Paola: (stares blankly at BB for a bit) Where did you learn that, at school?
BB: Nope on a video. 

Thank you Bill Nye.  The best part is I later watched the episode and the whole show was about Probability.  Which seemed wildly appropriate for BB.


Here is BB reporting back what he learned to me.  


Sunday, March 30, 2014

Pets 101 - FAILED!

There was a time I worried about getting a pet because maybe my kids were too young to deal with death.  It's inevitable, sure, but I didn't need to bring it into their home.  As with most parental concerns they decrease in importance and you welcome a pet to your home.

If you've been around these woods for awhile you know not only did I bring death right to my children's home but we reinforced the idea over and over and over.  Parenting at it's finest.  I'll never look at a fish the same way again.

A few weeks back B collected Ladybugs.  We were at little league practice and he asked me to help him find them.  I had plans to write and watch practice but I set it all aside and told him I'd help.  For twenty minutes we crouched in the grass and searched for Ladybugs.  We screeched when we found them and they eluded us.  We laughed.  It was awesome! 

We moved them into a bug mansion and researched how to take care of them.  Their home sat on our dinning room table and they were the topic of daily discussions.  My boys were thrilled. 

Fast forward two weeks. 

On Thursday I sat at the table drinking coffee and out of the corner of my eye I could see them moving around. Like bugs do.  It was horrific.  Then again Thursday night they just kept moving and walking like tiny little roaches moving, constantly.  B wanted no part of feeding the raisins to them and N was as creeped out as I was about the creatures moving about. 

So I made a choice.

This morning I opened their cage and put it outside near a bush and told them to go and be free little Ladybugs.  Tonight when the boys come home I will tell them they died.

What?  It's what they are used to. 

Parenting Chapters I forgot to read - Pets!!   

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Held In Captivity

B: "Mama we had our hostage for 6 days!"
"Your hostage....who?"
B: "The ladybug Spike."
Last week at baseball practice B found a ladybug.  He promptly dumped out the water from my water bottle in order to persuade it into captivity.  For six days now we've had Spike and shockingly he has lived.  If you are unfamiliar with our pet history lets just say Petsmart has a wall with pictures of people they refuse to sell fish too and we're on the top of that wall. The very top!  It was bad for a few years.

Spike has somehow renewed our pet mojo though. His home has even been upgraded from a small water bottle to lush and spacious pet mansion.  Complete with watchful cat.

"Maybe tomorrow when we go back to baseball practice we can look for another ladybug for Spike."
B: "Yeah, we need an orange one.  The males are red and Spike is red so we need a orange one so they can mate.  I'd really like to find out if ladybugs can hop and if they can mate upside down because I've only ever seen one mate on the ground."

I have no idea where he gets this from.  I fear he makes most of it up but that fandangle internet thing is highly suspect.  Anyways we're happily breeding ladybugs enjoying our pet mojo.....for as long as it will last.


Friday, February 28, 2014

Questions By A 6 Year Old....

B: Mama?
Me: Yeah B?
B: Why do you wear Boob Protectors?
Me:.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................(Thankfully so much time had passed at this point he forgot the question and moved on. Thankfully!!)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Valentine's Day Torture

I ADORE Valentine's Day.  I love the hearts and flowers and since I'm a hopeless romantic it's my favorite holiday.  My house is covered in hearts right now and there is nothing better than walking through the grocery stores filled with pink and red hearts.  Love it!! Since I love it, it means I get to make my boys love it too.  The joys of parenthood.

In Kindergarten this year Bubbly B's class is taking a different approach to the usual kids Valentine's Day cards.  Be still my heart, B's teacher sent home an email explaining that this year each child would write one or two sentences to each child saying something they like about that kid in their class.  I literally swooned.
The best part of V-day is expressing how you feel.  It's the day you are absolutely allowed to be honest and open....and I'm losing readers I can feel it.  (cough)  Okay, stay with me.

So Kindergarten, letters to each other. I was wickedly excited to start this project.  Then I sat down with B and began the most painstaking project I've encountered to date.  Each card starts with Dear....., I like you.......  Love, Ben.  It takes three turns around in his chair, a glass of water, a snack, a trip to bathroom, telling me something that happened at school, something he about Minecraft, three random questions and a rub of the cat; and that was only after he wrote Dear.   Sweet Jesus, we should have started this project in October.  I'm not even sure that would have helped.  Each letter requires a complete review of that student's behavior to date.  Lets just some students have had a rough year.  I can only imagine what they have to say about B.

We have four more to write.  Four.  Letters.  Four!!  If y'all don't hear from me by Monday....send for help.  It's likely I tried to stab myself with all the hearts I have hung up.

Here are a few favorites.  Don't tell him I showed you these.  (I can't wait to see what the other kids write about him)

"Dear Kindle, I like when we make funny faces"

"Dear Kennedy, I like your boots"

"Dear Delaney, I like you because you are sweet. I like when we play together." 

"Dear Myleigh, I love you because your sweet."

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Gifted Life

Life with a gifted kid is not what some would imagine.  I never really gave it much thought but if I had I would have imagined sitting around the kitchen table having lengthy discussion about things he was learning at school.  Watching his face light up as he talked about school projects and books that he is reading.  Watching his mind feast on the information and the world around him.  Instead this is what happens at my house.....

Me: You lost your lunch box?  That's the third one this month?
Me: You left your water bottle at school again this week?
Me: You lost your jacket.......again?
Me: What do you mean you forgot to bring your homework home again?

Every. Single. Week.

Tonight he brought home the poem he wrote in class.  In the fourth grade gifted class....

"Gross Things"
I just heard a sneeze
That dudes butt just made a breeze
On the floor is someone hurling
The chips in that guys mouth are crunchy.

(Thank God he's not considering a future in poem writing.)